It's not goodbye; it's see you later
I'm unplugging
I was finishing my run on Thursday morning when I realized it was the last day of July and I hadn’t written a word for this newsletter.
It hit me like a ton of bricks.
It had already been a so-so run. Which isn’t new around here, sadly. I just wasn’t feeling it, for whatever reason. I haven’t been feeling it a whole lot at all, as of late. But this hit me a bit harder in particular because my goal since Boston had been to write one newsletter a month.
It was a promise made to the sponsor of the newsletter; Forward Physical Therapy + Performance. As of late, that relationship with Forward was the thing that “pushed me out the door,” so to speak, with putting thoughts down once a month. I haven’t wanted to write about running anymore. Less about going through the motions and more about confronting the continual “I’m just not having fun with this right now” vibes and being afraid to tackle that on a monthly basis.
With a half mile left in my run, I darn near started crying. I wasn’t going to have time to write anything. I knew I’d have to let Vince at Forward know this.
I immediately set about texting him when I got home, explaining everything; I’m not in the right headspace. I don’t want to be repetitive in my story.
I’m not having fun.
And wouldn’t you know it, within minutes, Vince had sent me an incredibly kind and gracious message. Not just of understanding, but of compassion. Not of frustration for the lack of a newsletter — or for the lack of newsletters moving forward — but as someone who essentially told me, “we’re happy to support the newsletter in whatever form it takes.”
I needed to hear it.
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So, I’m taking some time off. Something I’ve said a lot lately, inside both this space and inside the podcast. But unlike previous times, I don’t really know when I’m coming back.
I think I will, at some point, but I honestly don’t know.
I was explaining my feelings to some friends this weekend and someone pointed out this all sounds like burnout. I hadn’t even had that word on my mind in the first half of this year, but I wonder if that’s what this all has been.
I have found it very hard to describe lately. It’s been pretty obvious to me (and I imagine others) that since Boston I have lost a lot of the fire I had in the last five years. That moment on Thursday was just another moment in the long line of moments this year where I’m ask myself, “why don’t I like this like I did in January?”
I have no desire to do workouts.
I have no desire to do a long run of anything more than 10-12 miles.
None.
It’s wild. I am recovered from my injury now, which was the thing that kept holding me back throughout the first handful of months in 2025. And all this year, I figured getting healthy would re-ignite everything for me. If anything, it’s done the opposite. I feel like I have been pushed away from things. At the very least, that’s where I’m at on the “content” side of things. I miss talking to people on Chasing Three Hours, but I don’t miss all the work that went into it. And while I don’t miss writing about running on a weekly basis (mainly because of the obvious), I miss wanting to write about running on a weekly basis.
I miss running but more importantly, I miss wanting to go hard like I have for five years. Ultimately, I think I’m just tired.
When I started this newsletter 3.5 years ago, I wanted to document my climb to whatever was next. I’m so happy I did.
On the morning of the 2022 Chicago Marathon, I called my shot.
Later that day, I caught three hours.
After an incredible block the following winter and spring, I had my most disappointing race in my Running Journey Era, learning so much about myself in the process.
Months later, I learned I wasn’t running in Boston in 2024, missing out by 16 seconds. “Leave no doubt,” I told myself ahead of the 2023 Des Moines Marathon. Which, I did.
Six months later, after the most challenging and rewarding training block, I ran the race of my life in Eugene, Oregon. Sometimes, I still can’t believe I did what I did that day.
Later that fall, with my least-favorite training block of the last five years behind me, I toed the line in Chicago just hoping for a good day. I didn’t get a PR, though you wouldn’t have known it talking to me afterwards.
And then, of course, there’s Boston. I spent years thinking about what I’d say before the Boston Marathon, pouring my entire heart into my favorite thing I’ve ever written.
And then somehow I chased and caught three hours on more time.
Again, I still can’t believe this all happened.
And so, what does this all mean? I don’t know. I’m not going to stop running and if you want to chat about it with me, I’m happy to unpack the last five years. It’s still enjoyable talking about running with people. I’ve debated whether or not I want to get off Strava for a bit. I feel like a terrible friend. Rarely do I spend minutes at a time scrolling the app, seeing what people in my life are up to. It hurts to do so, knowing I don’t feel about running like so many on there do. Better to be healthy with the realization than force myself to power through or something. We’ll see.
I’m just no longer in the place to do so with any regularity in this space or the podcast space. If you’re one of the few paid subscribers I have, thank you for your support over the years. I’ll be turning off that feature. I don’t feel comfortable accepting paid subscriptions given I won’t be writing moving forward.
It’s not goodbye. At least I don’t think it is. But it is most definitely a see you later.
Thanks for reading Chasing Three Hours.
Josh…know that you are not alone. I am glad you are taking some time away for yourself. That is what is most important. You will find the joy again, for that I am sure. And remember, the journey is what it is all about. There will always new goals and challenges for you to take on but you have to find the joy first…it’s what makes moving towards those things really worth it. Good luck as you step back and I look forward to hearing what’s next when you do figure that out.
I’m not nearly as fast as you, I’m older, and have had different goals. But I’ve really appreciated your posts and interviews and found nuggets of wisdom for my own running journey. My 2 cents: there are only so many PRs in life. Another, different goal is around the corner, but you’ve got to find it! Mine is pacing. I love meeting new people, talking running, life experiences, and helping them meet their running goals. Maybe there’s a dream race still out there, maybe there is someone you want to encourage running, an organization that you want to help out? The running world will be there for your next goal even though you don’t know what it looks like yet!